Thursday, January 31
I put the little one to bed, walk to my room, step into the closet and step out of my jeans. My jeans are big enough to pull on or off without worrying about the button - boyfriend jeans. Once into my workout clothes I take a quick glance in the mirror, I look at my hips, then my face, then my greasy hair, and wonder how I will muster up enough energy to actually exercise.
I grab my paperback and head downstairs to the kitchen, barefoot. The floors are drafty even with new windows. I can't believe how cold it turned. Snow on the ground again.
I go straight to the Nespresso machine and stand there reading as it warms up. I plug in the strongest pod of coffee and punch the button. I like my espresso black. I worry that it is staining my teeth. My teeth are too sensitive to whiten, actually, I blame whitening on the sensitivity, but maybe it is just a part of aging. I take my espresso with me to the table (just the tiny cup, I leave the tiny saucer behind) and take a seat.
I have to move a dozen or so crayola markers and my new notepad from Christmas out of the way. My older son has been practicing how to write his name in upper case and lower case. It seems sweet now to look upon, but I was majorly distracted this morning. He wanted my help while I was washing the dishes. I kept having to pull off my yellow rubber gloves - whap! to write example letters on the pad that he could trace and copy. Walking back and forth from the sink to the table while the water was running. I should have turned off the water - I waste too much. I should have left the dishes until he was at pre-school and gave him my time this morning.
I read and sip and read and sip. I use a pencil to underline the words as I go. I am not actually marking the book, just using the pencil as a guide to improve my speed. I got the idea on the internet.
I look up - WOW! Where did all this snow come from? It's beautiful! I love the snow! I should love the snow damn it - I'm Canadian. That's what we do! Except I know its only the caffeine. Caffeine lifts my mood and gives me energy. I close my book and use the pencil as a bookmark. I really want to run some intervals on the elliptical!! I have about 30 mins left to myself!! Today will be a great day!