Thursday, February 28, 2013

Foggy Memory


I hung a set of framed leaves on the floating bookshelves in the office. The leaves are at least 12 years old. I remember thinking that I wouldn't be able to forget the day I picked them. That's why I put them under glass - to hold on to whatever feeling I had in that moment!

Except, I have no idea what was so special about that day.

I have a vague recollection that the two small leaves were plucked off a tree the first time I went for a jog in the city. Except that can't be right? I remember the end of my first run. I was angry. Furious actually. I was out of shape** and had never really pushed myself in terms of fitness before. I needed a drink of water, I needed to spit. I did spit, and the spit hung from my lip...this made me even more ferocious as I grabbed a leaf to wipe my mouth. I actually recall pulling on a branch and the leaf snapping back so I had to grab at the branch a second time...

Surely these are not those leaves!

I like to think I cooled down as we walked home, the endorphins kicked in, and that's when I found the fall colours irresistible.

...but whatever I was actually thinking has completely escaped me. 

The leaves make me want to better preserve our everyday moments. I know I won't be able to recall much of the boys preschool days when they are grown men. Their baby-ness is already fading.

More important than documenting, the leaves remind me to be kind and generous to the people in my present life. More than a decade has flown by and all I have is a dusty meaningless memento. I have no contact with the people who were around then. When I look back at this time in our lives, I hope to do it by reminiscing with friends and family!   
 
   

*I was recently back from spending a summer getting plump in Bilbao, Spain.  

ps. Lately, quite a few memories of my early twenties have come flooding back. So much embarrassment and regret. I was such a jerk in my twenties.      
pps. The office is still one of my favorite places in the house! I continue to fill the room with plants and framed pictures and books and milk glass. I hung two pictures on the back of the closet door (I ran out of wall space!) and I will find some smaller things to hang around the chair. I have about 25 books I want to read on my nightstand. We are running out of space on the shelves but I think there is still enough room to cram them in!